CHRISTMAS DINNER 2021. I’m eating a slice of my mother’s lasagna, and I start to gasp for air. While the rest of the family sits frozen in horror because choking is scary, I stumble into the kitchen and tap in my brother-in-law. He performs the first and only Heimlich maneuver of my life with New-York-restaurant-poster-level execution. (I really can’t recommend familiarizing yourself with a firefighter enough.) Cheese and lean beef go everywhere. Christmas was pretty bad vibes after that, and I haven’t looked at a lasagna since. As of this writing, I’m proudly three years off the meat sauce. Anyway, here’s my email again: CRAIGSHERVIN@GMAIL.COM.

Edit: I ate some lasagna last night